Headlight Anthology

a student-run journal

Calum


Audio clip of Carlos Pittella reading “Calum”

by Carlos A. Pittella

after Britain’s Got Talent*
Sister Jane is                                                 interrupted & interrupted
This is not working                                                               Simon says 
So Jane leaves the stage                makeup dripping dreams all over 
Can this get  any more  melodramatic  I think  thru  my headphones 
from a crafts-cluttered floor          in my daughter’s borrowed room 
waiting for her to bypass               a crowd of night terrors into REM

It may take half an hour                          borders still closed anyways
So bring it on, YouTube                                     whatever you suggest
which happens to be a new compilation of Simon’s golden buzzers
most of which I’ve watched               but not Calum’s after his sister
He comes shaking to the Judges:     you’re Jane’s brother, you ok?
He nods from a bulletproofless vest:      I’ll sing a Robyn but slower

I: I am that line                                                 Calum’s about to cross
my truest home                         he’ll pass right thru me just you wait
Calum: I’ve already crossed                        I know but want to linger
Simon: I’ma press that golden buzzer  if he crosses one more time
Line: did Calum just leave                                 his sister behind me?
Sister: leave me        that’s how horizons work if you must see thru

Plato: this is not a cave            we’re not meant for scratching walls
the horizon’s but another shadow                         a continuous swirl
Line:  I’m that golden string Blake unraveled  from the endless end
to follow me back homeless            the horizon is such a thin place
Chorus: we know Calum knows                         he left his ego home
now there’s only the crossing                his Self a spreading horizon

Line:  It would be so much easier to rise                          & forget me 
Simon:  but you keep coming back                   via borders of thin air 
Chorus:  so our imagination can walk it                      tightrope talker 
Sister:  I  tried  too hard  to sign that line  while your art is swinging
Name:  I’m a song mourning itself     the callus of a name dissolved 
Buzzer:  the hand on me about to release                 lines into abyss

Daughter: eyes moving rapidly now             consciousness crossed
I: I too am a dancer                                    prancer of the thin horizon
Customs officer:  but Calum didn’t try to cross as soon as possible
House: borders are window frames              Calum’s a storm shelter
Horizon: cross exactly 50% of wherever             you think the sky is
Dance: I keep dancing on my own      but now’s the Dance saying it

* In April, 2015, Calum Scott performed a version of Robyn’s “Dancing on My Own” on Britain’s Got Talent, receiving a standing ovation & Simon Cowell’s golden buzzer. To date, the YouTube video of his audition has gathered more than 385M views.

Carlos A. Pittella

Carlos A. Pittella (he/him) is a Latinx poet & the recipient of a Frontier 2022 Global Poetry Prize. Born on traditional lands of the Tupi & Goitacá (Rio de Janeiro), he lives in Tiohtià:ke/Montréal. His writing is haunted by borders, having recently appeared in Glyphöria, Radar, & The Capilano Review.